Confessions of Ambivalent Mind

 The stories of recent past made me wonder Is the magic still there ? Do we still feel the same way ? I certainly do although in a nuanced way  Wasn't sure about you though  hence the dilemma - do we meet ? I chose not to and wonder instead  only to realize that you are all that i was missing  The realization dawned on me when I spoke to angel specifically sent for this That is when I call you and agree to meet. My heart pounds and eagerness grows to see you after just 2 weeks  Trust me when i say this,  these 2 weeks have seemed like years  I reach the spot and run towards the bridge where we decided to meet  Call you and  calm my confused self  The waiting game has begin  I try to predict where you'll enter from  Trains enter and leave soon Fate seems to be playing a cruel game It is then you call and we talk   Amongst the chaos, I see the familiar face  I rush towards you unsure how you'll greet  but...

 As  leave for home,  the picture becomes more clear the clouds less hazy  and my heart more happy 

Holding my tears,   Hiding my emotions to appear strong in front of you  While all I want to is cry with you        It was not that, I did not want to appear weak  but  I wanted to be your strength  For I may never be able to truly understand what your loss is  But the very thought of it brings in horror and pain  I remained firm, listened to you intently trying to put to words what you feel,  without being able to exactly put into words what I felt  I still can't put into words what I feel What I know for sure is -  whatever it maybe,  through all your thick and thin.   I'll be by your side and there for you.  I can't say it be all right but with time this pain too shall pass.   It will subside to find joy or another new kind of pain  But then that is life   What can you say about it, It'll throws curve ball when you least expect it  It will continue to do so...

Life is too small to hold regrets b ut it's these that give you a hard time when you loose some one rea lly close Maybe you could have be there more for your parents. All they wanted was some of you time. Very little. Just one phone call in the night We are always stating that our lives are problematic,  If only our parents could understand and help ease this instead of adding to the problems.  We see their care as a problem and here is where we are wrong We shall only be able to completely understand them when we'll go through the same routine with our kids Till then life will give us hard hitting experience that will put us in their shoes.  If only we could realise this and learn from it. "All they wanted was a phone call in the night Just to check whether their child was doing all right."

The recent JNU vs State debate over nationalism and freedom of expression was the one that caught the nation’s attention. It was during this time, that I was facing this conundrum within trying to grapple with opposing views on the issue. Shashi Tharoor, MP in his speech at the Azad Square, JNU campus stated and I paraphrase that the underlying issue for this juxtaposition is the concept/idea of the nation and Indian Nationalism. It is therefore very clear that these events speak about the complexity of the the concepts of Indian nationalism and freedom of expression which were seen to be loggerheads and deciphering the same shall be critical to our understanding of these concepts. Pic Credits: NDTV, India The emergence of the exclusionary dominant Hindu narrative of nationalism with the BJP, the political wing of the RSS coming into power further sidelining the marginalized was an added blow. This majoritarian construct of Cultural nationalism considers the nation state t...

In her  article for The New Yorker on 30th November 2009, Ariel Levy question the logic of binary dichotomies which use the operator of ‘ Either-Or ’ in case of a sex determination for Caster Semenya- a poor, rural, marginalised and black South African female athlete. Caster Semenya became the nation ’ s pride after winning accolades across the world in athletics albeit her poor and rural background.Caster was questioned after one of her winning performances that was criticised as ‘ enhanced performance ’ due to drug use and/or  being a male with high level of testosterone giving competitive advantage. The doubts grew with Caster not ‘ performing her gender ’ . Caster would not act like most conventional behaviour attributed to women. She did not excercise her feminine self in her appearance or her actions and therefore the cloud of doubt over her gender darkened. What was shocking was the ordeal that Caster had to undergo to prove herself, in violation of the principle of in...